my journey.

My name is Jacintha. It’s like Samantha and Jacintha put together. This is a bit of a tongue twister so your welcome to call me J.

I have been on a spiritual journey for the past 20 years + but it hasn’t always been all rainbows and butterflies. This is my story.

As a child, I was a happy little girl. Always smiling and laughing. I loved the colour yellow. But then one day something changed, that happy little girl lost her sparkle. I started to see the world differently from most and I couldn’t understand how others couldn’t see what I saw. I felt like an outsider like my views were not valued and essentially “wrong”. That the way I thought was not the right way to think. I lost a sense of who I was. I started to believe that something was wrong with me. I started to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. So, I developed a “second” self so I could fit in with those around me. I become who I thought I needed to be, not who I was.

During high school, I started dating a dashing much older man, who I just adored. I couldn’t believe someone so good looking would be interested in me. However, this man was also the person who introduced me to the party scene which lead me down a path of destruction. I was 17. We dated for 10 years on and off. It was a torturous relationship. It was very emotionally, mentally and physically abusive. It was a relationship for many years I would quite like to forget.

For over 15 years I lived in the party scene. I drank and partied. I was drunk Thursday - Sunday. I had a whale of a time. But unfortunately, my partying ways were not good for my health, especially my mental health. Every Sunday morning, I would wake up with a hangover wanting a better life for myself but I just didn't know-how. I was essentially running from my feelings and emotions. I drank to forget the past and run from the future. I suppressed any deep emotions and traumas I had experienced throughout my life in fear of showing my true self would push people away.

My levels of self-love and self-worth were at an all-time low. Hugging people felt so awkward. My self-talk and the stories I created in my mind – which are exactly that, just stories - have held me back most of my life. I would tell myself that because I was abused I couldn't get on with my life and it wasn’t possible for me to move forward. I was cemented in a victim mentality. I was unable to connect to others as I didn’t have the ability to connect to myself.

Then one day, a friend introduced me to a meditation teacher, Michelle. She got me drawing my feelings and emotions using colour to express my thoughts, thoughts that I couldn’t express verbally at the time. I did these sessions in secret in fear that I would be judged by my party peers. This was many many years before meditation gained the popularity it has today. I didn’t know it at the time but this was just the start of my journey with meditation. For years I dabbled in and out of my meditation in many different forms. Then one day, while pregnant with my son who is now 6, I was introduced to two beautiful humans Jonni Pollard and Laura Poole at the launch of their app, 1 Giant Mind. Although going separate ways, each have been an incredible mentor, of mine for the past 6 years showing me the way to self-discovery. Showing me how to come back to the true essence of my being. Showing me that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. I wasn’t damaged. I just didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t see my true inner beauty. I thought beauty steamed from my outer shell, however, I quickly learnt is came from within. To show up in this world as my true authentic self, I needed to first and foremost discover the true essence of my being. Why was I placed on this earth? What was my path? Why am I here? I discovered my purpose through self-discovery.

In 2019, I separated from the father of my child. In the blink of an eye, my entire world was smashed to pieces. I didn’t just separate from my partner; I separated from family, friends, a life that I’d always known. It all happened so quickly - I couldn’t understand it. I didn’t have time to breathe. I couldn’t understand why the universe was doing this to me…. **spoiler, it was for me.

During my deep healing, I joined a 12-month mentorship program to learn breathwork, pranayama, mantra, kriya, and tantra. I learned Reiki to help calm not only my nervous system but also my son’s. A separation is just as hard on our little people. In fact, it’s harder for them to understand. I saw psychologists, healers, kinesiologists, psychics, everyone I possibly could to alleviate just some of my pain and to help me decipher this shitstorm. I became a meditation teacher so I could deeply understand meditation to practise forgiveness and love when I felt the time was right. These modalities were purely for survival. At the time, I didn't have the intention to practice.

I had to dive deep into which elements of my being were deeply aligned to my soul, those that broke through habits, and other parts that I wanted to kick to the curb. This was also needed with past friendships. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. So I essentially needed to clean out the closet, so to speak. I needed to feel into who felt right. And boy did I learn a lot about human behaviour. Quite often, the people you think will be there aren’t and others you barely know show up in a way you never imagined possible. 

They say divorce and moving house are two of the hardest traumas you will go through. I did both in the space of a year. All while homeschooling my baby without any help through a world pandemic - picking up and moving to the coast to create an entirely new life for my baby and me.

For many years I have lived in a victim mentality. I thought the universe was working against me, however, after many years of deep healing and trust, I have learnt that the divine has been holding me, guiding and helping me to evolve the entire way. I have learnt how to forgive. I have learnt to lead with my heart and have compassion – although not always as easy process! I have learnt to be patient with myself ensuring I make sure I am ready, not when others want me to be. I have learnt to give myself time to process what I need to process. I have learnt to have gratitude for my experiences – even though many times I have thought leaving this earth was a much easier option. The adversity and pain I have experienced throughout my life have built my emotional resilience, it has helped me evolve. It has shaped me to be who I am today. It has led me to be of service to others. The gifts I have received throughout my life have allowed me to relate to others on a deeper level. Our experiences in life are here to help us expand, help us evolve, to build inner strength. I am grateful for the many traumas I have faced as they have shaped who I am. I am grateful for the deep pain I have felt. I am grateful for every experience, the good and the challenging. These experiences have taught me to trust my intuition – our highest intelligence. I would never be able to be the teacher I am today if I didn’t understand what real pain felt like. I have many mentors to thank for this. Every person that has come into my life has been one of my teachers. And for that, I am truly grateful. Through pain, we either learn the lessons or we allow life to consume us. This has been one of my greatest insights. To surrender to what is. To surrender to the journey of life. To allow the waves to come and go as they do in the ocean. To breathe deeply and connect in. We have all the answers within us if we create enough stillness to hear them.

First and foremost I am a mother to the most divine angel, Axel. He has been my greatest teacher. He is my reason for showing up and wanting to be the most authentic human that I can be. For over 15 years I have self-healed. For over 6 years I I have chosen a path of sobriety. I am not perfect but it’s something I strive for every day. I never stop learning. My deep healing has led me to become what I wish I had as support. I am a Family and Child Counsellor, Art Therapist, Level 3a Reiki practitioner, Breathwork Coach, Meditation teacher certified by 1 Giant Mind, certified Integrative Nutrition and Holistic Health Coach. I believe deeply in conscious parenting and work with both adults and children. I wish I knew what I know now as a child and these are the gifts I want to pass on to my child. For the next generation of beings to evolve, we parents must first heal ourselves.

Through many different methods like; yoga, meditation, breath-work, journaling, mantra, pranayama, kinesiology, reiki, healers, and gratitude, just to name a few, I am on the journey to healing many childhood habits and pains . I am here to guide you on your chosen path, whatever that may be.

But now its time I shared my gifts with others. It’s time I stepped up to be of service.

To learn more about my services - click here.

To learn how to meditate - click here.

21-day self-love program - click here.

I can’t wait to connect with you and hold your hand during this journey.

I see you. I hear you. I love you.

do you want 21 days to self love?